The Apocalypse List.

Happy Anticlimax!!!! As is standard for New Years celebrations, I present the best of 2013 ideal for celebratory skanktivities. To go clubbing would be an insult to my bank account, so you'll find me living it up at home, committing to some very subpar twerking. For those trying to relive something similar to Jools Holland's Hootenanny and Channel 4's House Party - proceed.

Janelle Monae's self-explanatory "Dance Apocalyptic" drops first, followed by Benga, Kano and Azealia Banks; all of which roused me to cardiovascular problems. Scrufizzer is a total hype machine, reminiscent to the alarming vocalisations of Flirta D, and gained more recognition this year with "Kick It". The man is simply a Lord over any Preditah production. To hear him in his prime, keyword 'Logan Sama 2Face Teeza' on YouTube.

For further vibes I've included a rip from James Arthur's album. The guy undoubtedly has soul, and this is actually one of the top tracks - "Lie Down." Similarly with the Kanye addition which is my most played song this year. That TNGHT sample is tough. Too tough, and clapped my speakers as soon as the first trumpet sounded.

The list is topped off with Citizen's "So Submissive" - straight mucky.

Sounds like: Pure pandemonium
Skanks like: Trigger fingers & the likelihood of saying "CHOOOOOON!"
For: Good vibes and power skanking

The Monochrome List.

Sometimes in life, you've gotta get sinkhole deep profound and manifest your melodrama, nahmean? Let me help you:

This playlist features sombre piano notes accompanied with sad slur champ Ghostpoet, and some unsettling glitch loops common to Crystal Castles' sound. SZA's "Teen Spirit" and Ruff Sqwad's "Misty Cold" breezy additions are mandatory for winter's sake, as is Sam Smith's intensity on Nirvana. As a pick me up, you can always rely on DMX to make you involuntarily skank to some diabolical raps, in addition to Mike Skinner's intro in "Empty Cans" which is faultless. Thank you for The Streets.


I was introduced to The Feeling somewhere in between Sixth Form and wondering what happened to Sophie Ellis-Bextor. Long story short, her husband (Richard Jones) is the bassist, and these guys created a ballad on Rosé wine. White Zin for the win.

Sounds like: A transition from self-pity to TOTAL LIFE DOMINATION

Skanks like: A sluggish two-step - head bob

For: The night