The Solo List.

What is Valentines Day*? For some of us, it is a myth. A myth that is apparently dumbed down to deep red, roses and dinner -Kanye shrug-. My mate wrote a piece about this, and it is apt. Others will be pretending to not care, some definitely won't. But if you're here, you care. About generating some vibes that make you feel at least plausibly indifferent. With films like How To Be Single recently released, I'm all in aid for championing self-sustainment and casting out the ghosts of romance past.

This is a delicate one, so I've made a point to get large from the start. French Kalash & Pompis "Independent Gyal" is a batty-flicking madness.It calls for too much. Mean-mugging, trigger fingers. Anything necessary to dun the dance.

Next we have three directly meaningful songs. From the "one" chanting in Lauryn Hill's classic "Lost Ones", the throwback to Outkast's "Roses", and Dizzee Rascal's unbelievably clever cyclical "love" story in "Round We Go", you're bound to get lifted. 

This is all good and well, but sometimes you have to harness the negative to make room for the good. We all have different healing processes. Some of us need to wallow to the sounds of some powerful lyrics (Arctic Monkeys, "Do Me A Favour", Etta Bond "Break Free"); some need a smash & flee release ("Best For Last", Adele); or to make some sweeping accusations (Chris Brown). Either way, it's all cathartic.

Sounds like: Strength & weakness
Skanks like: An emotional journey in skankin'
For: Lone wolves *For love, spooning anthems and the like, please see The Valentines List of 2014.

The Skit List.

I love a good skit. Conceptual skits that add to the flavour of what the artist is trying to deliver in the totality of an album. Even if that is just catching a few lolz from voicemail recordings ("Just A Rascal", Dizzee Rascal). Nevertheless, skits have multiple functions. Some are transition pieces, like the fictional fraternity Broke Phi Broke in "Skit #4" (Kanye West). Others are integral to the album's whole, like Tyler The Creator's "Goblin", and The Streets' "Get Out Of My House".

Folks consider Eminem the G.O.A.T. on the skit front, but these are up there, all with funny undertones. You'll catch Kanye (again), but this time enlisting the help of Chris Rock in "Blame Game". You know the one...yeezy taught you well :D. 

I dare you not to crack up at Azealia Banks dismantling girls that like to act brand new ("Van Vogue"), or perhaps Juicy J's ridiculous outro on The Weeknd's "Same Old Song". Enjoy, listeners. First is Robyn's first track on her eponymous album, equipped with assertions to make anyone feel gassed.

The Valentines List.

Tis the season to dote on your significant other. The partner and I have decided to postpone our plans, but for the rest of you who are planning on sealing tonight with some very strong stroking, click play.

Speech DeBelle's sweet-toned rap in "I'm With It" has been on my Top 25 Rinsed Tracks for sometime now. Considering she's massively underrated and coupled this track with a powerful video, I'm going to leave this right here. Wretch 32's "Anniversary" is one of few tracks incorporating love on my personal playlist that will get multiple pull-ups indefinitely. Soft batty-whine on your beau to that!

There's the obligatory Amy Winehouse song, and Clean Bandit's "Rather Be" that is likely to stretch out until summer, because it's that bad. The good kind. "Hey" by the Pixies is a track I came across in a soundtrack for a film whose title I won't mention for PG purposes. There are relatively little lyrics, but Lord knows it's a tune.

The playlist concludes with the well-known "Opposites Attract" where Kendrick Lamar asks many rhetorical questions, and an addition from R.Kelly's Chocolate Factory, which, if you know anything about slow jams, is compulsory.

Sounds like: Butterflies, but in your ear
Skanks like: The gentlest batty whine
For: The lovers

The Apocalypse List.

Happy Anticlimax!!!! As is standard for New Years celebrations, I present the best of 2013 ideal for celebratory skanktivities. To go clubbing would be an insult to my bank account, so you'll find me living it up at home, committing to some very subpar twerking. For those trying to relive something similar to Jools Holland's Hootenanny and Channel 4's House Party - proceed.

Janelle Monae's self-explanatory "Dance Apocalyptic" drops first, followed by Benga, Kano and Azealia Banks; all of which roused me to cardiovascular problems. Scrufizzer is a total hype machine, reminiscent to the alarming vocalisations of Flirta D, and gained more recognition this year with "Kick It". The man is simply a Lord over any Preditah production. To hear him in his prime, keyword 'Logan Sama 2Face Teeza' on YouTube.

For further vibes I've included a rip from James Arthur's album. The guy undoubtedly has soul, and this is actually one of the top tracks - "Lie Down." Similarly with the Kanye addition which is my most played song this year. That TNGHT sample is tough. Too tough, and clapped my speakers as soon as the first trumpet sounded.

The list is topped off with Citizen's "So Submissive" - straight mucky.

Sounds like: Pure pandemonium
Skanks like: Trigger fingers & the likelihood of saying "CHOOOOOON!"
For: Good vibes and power skanking

The Monochrome List.

Sometimes in life, you've gotta get sinkhole deep profound and manifest your melodrama, nahmean? Let me help you:

This playlist features sombre piano notes accompanied with sad slur champ Ghostpoet, and some unsettling glitch loops common to Crystal Castles' sound. SZA's "Teen Spirit" and Ruff Sqwad's "Misty Cold" breezy additions are mandatory for winter's sake, as is Sam Smith's intensity on Nirvana. As a pick me up, you can always rely on DMX to make you involuntarily skank to some diabolical raps, in addition to Mike Skinner's intro in "Empty Cans" which is faultless. Thank you for The Streets.


I was introduced to The Feeling somewhere in between Sixth Form and wondering what happened to Sophie Ellis-Bextor. Long story short, her husband (Richard Jones) is the bassist, and these guys created a ballad on Rosé wine. White Zin for the win.

Sounds like: A transition from self-pity to TOTAL LIFE DOMINATION

Skanks like: A sluggish two-step - head bob

For: The night